PC: Amy Krencius
Let's Talk About The Past
I tell her that I used to be afraid of ghosts, of the shadows on the wall
but eventually of nothing at all.
I spent all this time believing in tangible
spectres but this evening, in reluctant confrontation with my
reflection, I felt the dread pour into me.
Marble faced, she nods and scrawls.
What are your goals for this - mumbling why
do I feel like a squatter in my own skin, lived and not lived in.
When was the last time you - time. if we’re talking about time,
we are assuming a linearity, that selves don’t flit in and out
like hesitant adolescents tripping over their own hopes.
She operates in questions, I operate in never finding replies
that adequately satisfy those numbered questionnaires.
On a scale of 1 to 5, how often do you experience this?
I don’t know if I can quantify this estrangement in numbers nor tell
you that I’m haunting myself, a parasitic guest without an expiry date.
I leave before I infect her with this disease of dissolution. Little pieces of a self,
transparent and uncomfortably flimsy, are scattered on the floor.
About the Author - Georgie Whitehead
Georgie Whitehead is 19 years old and a student of English Literature at Oxford University. She is Fiction Editor for the ISIS Magazine in Oxford and a contributor to her college arts journal.